a sea shanty

I know what you do with drunken sailor (shave his belly with a rusty razor) but what do you do with a fat sailor?

Prepare yourselves for a nautical post.

I feel like I am stuck in the doldrums.  I hate the word doldrums.  I remember the first time I heard it and wondering to myself, "What is the meaning of that terribly ugly sounding word?"

Well, in case you were wondering, the doldrums were originally areas of the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans which are affected by a low pressure zone near the equator.  The range of low pressure causes the prevailing wind to be calm.  Exceptionally calm winds seems like it would very pleasant for a sailor but they were not.  Sail powered ships could get stuck in the doldrums for days, weeks, or even months at a time.  Mostly this was a problem during the eighteenth century before modern communication and when westward exploration was at an all time high.

Okay, sorry.  History lesson over.

Seriously though.  Could you imagine being stuck on a rickety wooden ship full of stinky sailors and limited provisions for weeks?!?

Anyway, the actual doldrums aren't really a problem anymore for sailors.  At least I don't think they are.  But figuratively they can stop me in my tracks sometimes.

I don't know how to explain the past week.  It's like some sort of weird misty fog of tiredness has settled over me like a big blanket of exhaustion.  I know why.  I've stopped eating carbs again and my mind and body are staging an all out revolt.

The past week I have just felt lazy and unmotivated at the same time.  I wake up in the morning and want to do nothing but sit on the couch with Katelyn and watch Thomas and Friends, Dinosaur Train, Super Why, and those krazy Kratt brothers talk about animals.  Don't get me wrong.  I have actually been thoroughly enjoying myself.  On weekday mornings, PBS has a pretty exciting lineup.  I'm loving the quiet time Katelyn and I have spent relaxing on the couch with a blanket spread over our legs sharing a bowl of cottage cheese.  Sometimes we discuss the fascinating plot lines of the progrms we are watching and everyday we agree that we are both annoyed by that Sid the Science Kid.  It's okay because he's pretend, right?

Anyway, the problem is that I feel guilty about all the laziness.  I'm not trying to teach Kate that it's okay to spend the hours of ten to noon sitting on the couch eating cottage cheese out of the container.  I mean, at least not every day, I guess.

Also, I feel badly that I have been enjoying the laziness.  I get to spend my days shut into my apartment dressed in an oversized nightgown from Walmart all while in the company of a delightfully entertaining toddler who wants nothing more than to sit on the floor with me while we play with her toys and she intermittently gets up to give me a hug.  I just feel guilty for not getting out more and accomplishing things, I guess.

I mean, we have been getting out every day but I don't think it counts if it's only to beg my mom to pick us up and let me follow her around for the afternoon.

It's just that this diet is draining me of my will to move.  I feel like feet have been firmly planted in a vat of molasses and, because I have been deprived of all of the foods that are good and benevolent, I am just too tired to fight the exhaustion.

I've been trying to remind myself that this has been, as my mom called it today, one of those "go with the flow" weeks of motherhood.  I can already feel myself breaking free.  Today, we ventured out to Walmart where I circled the same two aisles about fifteen times forgetting what I was trying to find.  Don't worry though.  I eventually found it.  It was a Genie Bra because nothing says glamor like a bra that comes out of a box.

Seriously though, it is the most comfort I think I have ever felt in my life and at night, I change into those giant cotton nightgowns so that's saying a lot.

Anyway, I've already decided that tomorrow will be great.  Tomorrow I am going to wake up and accomplish all of those tasks that have been patiently awaiting my attention for the last week.  I am taking Kate to play group at the church.  I'm deep cleaning my apartment.  I might even think of cleaning the car.  (Just kidding.  No I won't.)  I will finally return those books to the library.

So I bid farewell to the doldrums because this sailor is ready to move.  I'm gathering all the energy I can muster so I can get out there and start moving again.  And if all else fails, I'll just forget about this diet thing and buy myself a big piece of Target cake (fuel).

Just kidding.