relief society broadcast in general

Last night, my mom and I watched the General Relief Society Conference.

We had just returned from the UH football game and the conference was starting.  I hadn't eaten and I was starving.  I handed Kate to D and asked him to put her in bed while I cooked myself some dinner.  About halfway through cooking my meal, I heard Katelyn crying from her room.  I was hoping that she would settle down and go to sleep.

As I settled into my chair with my plate of hot delicious food, she continued to cry.  She had just finished a bottle of breastmilk that she had been drinking in the car so I knew that she wasn't hungry but I also knew that she wanted to nurse again before bed.  I knew that she was okay but I couldn't stand hearing her cry and thinking about her crying and alone, waiting to be picked up and nursed.

I asked my mom to pick her up and hold her while I quickly finished my meal.  She brought Katelyn out and sat in the chair next to me while little Kate stared at me with a look that said, "Please feed me!"

I couldn't do it.  The pleading eyes were just too much.  I put my plate down and scooped her up, happy to sacrifice hot food for a content little baby.  As she snuggled up to me for her bedtime milk, I listened as Sister Reeves spoke.  She testified of our Savior's love for us and quoted scripture:

"Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee."

I looked at Baby Kate, then at the plate of cooling food beside me, and then at my mom as we laughed at the irony of the timing.  I couldn't forget my little one.  As I thought about that, it put into perspective the tremendous love our Savior and our Father in Heaven have for us.  I love Katelyn would do anything to make her happy and keep her safe.  If I feel that way about my child, how utterly incomprehensible must my Father's love be for me?

I continued to ponder that as Sister Reeves continued her talk.  She related times of struggle in which the Lord challenged her strength.  I thought about times I have done things for Katelyn that she didn't appreciate at the moment but were for her benefit in the long run.  I thought about the first few days of her life, when she was jaundiced and needed to stay naked in her crib under blue bili lights.  The nurse assured me that she would be warmed from the lights but she screamed and thrashed around.  She was so upset and miserable but was being given treatment for a condition that would have threatened her life.

I went on to remember how miserable I felt at the time.  I'm not trying to be dramatic but my hormonally challenged post partum heart felt like it was breaking.  I remember looking up at D with tears in my eyes and saying to him, "I can't do this."  I think that Heavenly Father must feel the same as he watches us endure the painful refiner's fires of life that will transform us and bring us closer to Him.  I believe that despite His omniscience of the great plan, He feels empathy for us when we struggle and I know that the Savior can comfort us because He has felt the same sorrow we experience.

I don't know why I'm always surprised when a General Conference talk seems to speak directly to me.  It happens every time.  I'm now looking forward to next week's spiritual feeding even more.